Cancer Sucks
So it's been a rough week here, a long time family friend and someone I have known since elementary passed away recently, and I went to her viewing Friday. Her name was Kristy she was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and family, friends we all knew the outcome because when diagnosed she was told the tumor was too big to operate and it was terminal. They got a glimmer of hope at one time when a doctor suggest shrinking it and trying to operate but that didn't work. Well earlier this week she passed away. I attended the viewing with my mother and I have to say every viewing is tough but this one was especially hard. I think part of it was she is my age, and up until now death hasn't really found any of my friends and now this has happened it hits home a little more. She leaves behind not only a husband, but 2 beautiful and VERY young children who were both present at the viewing. As the title says Cancer Sucks
The thing about this is as I sat in a church in the pew waiting to go thru the visitation(is that the right term) line I got to thinking. I want to start by saying I am not religious, I don't go to church infact I don't believe in organized religion I think it's one of the biggest hypocrisys out there. However, that beind said I have always believed in God, sometimes it's wavered but I have always believed. Got to say sitting there watching these pictures of two beautiful kids play with their mother who was now dead got me wavering again. I don't know understand how a God you religious people say is so great and amazing can also be so cruel. I really didn't mean to go in this direction for this post and I am not trying to offend anyone so I will stop here. I am just really frustrated I will simply leave you with
RIP Kristy.
posted by Phats @ 9:56 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Cancer sucks, and it makes you think. A lot. I don't have the answers, but I think the important thing it to think about it, and not run and hide.
I'm so sorry you lost your friend.
Cancer does suck and I hate it that she died and so young!!! :( No good.
So I've been thinking about what you said - and I have to say - you have a good question. A good point. It's a sad but true fact that most people in the church do live hypocritical lives. I hate that. I try really hard not to be one of them.
Here's my two cents on God being cruel. You can take or leave them. :)
My belief is that God is not cruel, but good GRIEF, living in a sin-filled world sure can make it seem like He is. Not at all saying that Kristy deserved cancer. NOT what I'm saying. I'm just saying that because we live in a world filled with sin and death, there are so many things that happen that just are. not. fair. And it hurts like crazy when something like that smacks us in the face.
I remember when Isaac left me and I sat in my living room, SO mad at God for not fixing it, for not keeping His promise (which is how I viewed what was happening at the time), and I said, "I'm not sure I can trust You anymore." Not a nice thing to say to God, but it was my honest heart in that moment.
And as I sat there I realized it just boiled down to my choice. I could choose to believe He loved me and was good, even though in that moment, NOTHING about my life felt good or loved. OR I could choose to walk away.
I chose to stay. I chose to believe that He had reasons beyond what I could see and I asked Him to PLEASE show me - someday, somehow.
And He has. I believe He brought about a blessing to me through my relationship with Ryan, and that wasn't something I could see back then.
It's TERRIBLE that these kids are mom-less now. That does suck - so much. And I have no idea why God didn't spare her life. None at all. But I still believe He's good, even in the face of incredible hurt.
And that's my two cents that kind of turned into four. And I am sorry you hurt and lost a friend. :(
So sorry for your loss. As the years go by, I've lost a few friends before the age of 40. So sad.
One thing to keep in mind about God and cruelty: We're not puppets on a string. We have freewill. If life was to be free of sorrow or pain, we wouldn't have freewill.
Without darkness, there can be no light. And without tragedy, there can be no victory.
Life is unfair, and terrible things happen to good people. God doesn't play chess with our lives. That's what I believe, anyway.
Take care.
Sorry for your loss Phats. My deepest condolences.
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